In a Nutshell. Mini reviews of movies old and new. No fuss. No spoilers. And often no sleep.

Thursday 28 February 2013

TWILIGHT [2008]

Oh, sweet zombie Jesus.
Director Catherine Hardwicke does a shitty job at adapting Stephanie Meyer's first shitty tween romance/vampire novel, Twilight for the screen.  Robert Pattinson, who I normally like, wanders around like he doesn't give a shit (as it turns out he didn't).  Kristen Stewart who is great at playing insecure, broken characters is absolutely terrible at playing a "strong" protagonist.  Carter Burwell's score distracts like it was written for a 90's TV movie.  The stormy sky backdrop is quite nice and so is Peter Facinelli as a *lol* bleach blonde vampire doctor.
I know I'm not the target audience here but it can't be denied that tweenage girls can do so much better than this shitfest.  

2 smelly girls out of 5

2 comments:

Impudent Urinal said...

2? Seriously?
What warranted that much? Your words certainly speak to less.

cuckoo said...

...because it'll be funnier when I get to it's sequels and rate them even lower and lower.